Mother, May I?
by KlonoaDreams
Summary: Just when you'd think you have it figured out, some blond idiot proves you wrong. [SI, Self-insert as fem!Naofumi] [Cover Art: KadeKuro]
1. Unforeseen Circumstances

A/N Noa here, back at it again with the same bullshit as usual. This time, we're giving _The Rising of the Shield Hero_ (AKA, _Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari_) a shot, because my new job leaves me without access to the internet, with extra cash to spend on light novels to keep me entertained during my breaks!

Yeah, after going through the entirety of _Goblin Slayer_ and having nothing else to read, I decided to finally give the Shield Hero a try and…well, that's how we got here.

**Disclaimer for the whole story: I don't own **_**Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari**_**/**_**The Rising of the Shield Hero**_**, or anything related to it. **

All I own is whatever comes out of this fic, so have fun reading!

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…

Looking back on it now, I haven't lived that long of a life. Twenty-four honestly wasn't that old, though it certainly felt like it at times…

No matter—not much I can do about it now, seeing as I've died.

_How?_

I honestly don't remember…

_Maybe it's for the best._

Whatever happened couldn't have been any good, so I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I don't remember anything about my death. All I know is that shortly after my death, I was reborn.

I was stuck in the body of a newborn infant, unable to do anything else but wail at the top of my lungs. It really sucks to be a baby, so I wasn't surprised to find myself often sleeping the days away, crying whenever I was hungry or when I had soiled myself.

Teething fucking hurt and learning how to talk again was _annoying_. I consider myself lucky that I had taken two semesters worth of Japanese. God knows just how much more annoying it would've been, had I not known basic Japanese. It wasn't much, but to little ol' me, it made a fucking difference in giving me a head start with my new parents.

Although, I feel like I might've screwed myself over, considering how eager my parents were to introduce me to academic subjects after that. On the bright side, at least I wasn't bored… On the downside, I did suffer socially, due to how often my parents would brag to the other parents whenever I was taken outside to the park to play with the other children.

I…didn't make many friends because of that. Actually, I didn't make any friends at all. Anxiety and my parents' inability to shut up about their gifted child locked me out of a lot of interactions I could've had with the other children. And it carried over noticeably when I started being left at a daycare.

It's…_really_ hard to interact with other children, when you're so god damn awkward, especially when those same children are told to stay away from me by their own parents. As a result, I was often on my lonesome, either coloring in pages to a coloring book, or just playing with some building blocks.

When I was four years old, my baby brother, Takahiro, was born. He was such a small thing, with black hair that was just as messy as mine and green eyes that shone brightly in the light. When I placed my finger in his hand, he grabbed it with his tiny hand.

_Th-Thump!_  
I felt my heart skip a beat, my cheeks heating up with a blush. I never had a younger brother before, having been the youngest sibling instead of the oldest. It was a new experience for me, and so I did what I could as I peered at him through the bars of his crib.

Father was usually busy with work, staying out late to meet important deadlines. Unlike Father, Mother was always home, being a housewife that was content to do all the cooking and cleaning. Often, I found myself being asked to help out around the house.

With nothing else to do, I went along with what Mother asked of me. I helped her with the cooking and the cleaning. Sometimes, she asked me to watch over Takahiro while she went out to buy groceries.

That should have been my first red flag.

_But I ignored it._

Looking back at it now, it's really fucked up that an adult could leave two children home alone. No matter how brief the trip to the grocery store was, it still doesn't change the fact that she left an eight-year-old in charge of someone who was half their age. It might have helped that Takahiro was distracted by the story I was reading to him. Even so…this isn't normal.

_Why did I let it happen?_

I should have known better.

_But I didn't._

It's why I never said anything whenever Mother sent Takahiro my way so that I could take him out to the park. I didn't even question how often she would encourage him to come to me whenever he had issues with his homework. Sure, it was annoying at times, when I had homework of my own to do, but…I thought that was normal.

And maybe it _was_ normal, but in the long run…I should've noticed that something was wrong.

_Very, __**very**__ wrong._

It didn't hit me until I entered middle school. That was around the time that my grades went down as a result of finally reaching new territory. No longer was I ahead of everyone else—not in physical education, nor mathematics. All I really had going for myself was English, for obvious reasons…

It was to be expected, since most of what I'd known had its limits within a Japanese school setting. At the very least, I was still within the top thirty, but…that might as well have been a death sentence for my parents.

I got scolded a lot after that, which sure did _wonders_ for my rejection sensitive dysphoria. It felt like I was dying from the inside, from how much my chest wouldn't stop hurting. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from crying.

It was an issue I had in my past life that carried over into my new life. ADHD can be a pain in the ass, especially when paired with depression and anxiety. My parents weren't helping at all, what with their harsh behavior towards my grades worsening my depressive moods and causing my anxiety to spike to debilitating levels.

Takahiro was the only one who treated me normally… He was the only one who was there for me when Mother and Father finally gave up on me.

I didn't score high enough on the entrance exams, due to the burnout I experienced from the amount of studying that Mother and Father forced me to do. And while I did manage to get into a decent high school (which should at least say _something_ about my efforts), it still wasn't what Mother and Father wanted from me.

So they fucked right off, while I was left to my own devices…which was just a smartphone I got at the age of ten. It was my only source of entertainment, because Mother was very strict on what it was that I watched on TV. I mean, there were only so many books I could read to pass the time, _especially_ when you're made to watch over your younger brother.

Midway into my first year of high school, my phone finally crapped out on me. I went to Father for a replacement, but the bastard had the gall to tell me that I had to pay for it with my own money. He tells me this, just shortly after buying Takahiro a new smartphone.

_I see how it is._

And yet, I didn't really hold it against Takahiro. It wasn't his fault that our parents were now playing favorites. Instead, I went job-hunting and found myself working temporarily at a maid café. I quit after the first week, not liking the attention I was getting from customers. The pay wasn't worth the harassment, so I left after receiving my first paycheck.

_See ya fucking never, Master._

I decided to take my chances at a nearby daycare. I was already used to watching over Takahiro, so I thought that there wouldn't be much of a difference watching over other children.

I was wrong…

So very, **very** wrong…because not all children are like Takahiro.

Some children like to be absolute troublemakers and pull on my ponytail when I'm not looking. Others like to make me the dog whenever they were playing house. And quite a few of them like to throw tantrums when things didn't go their way.

It was like looking at the Ghost of Christmas Past, just staring me down as I was reminded of my past life. I was a terrible child—how did Mama put up with me?!

_How?!_

I asked myself that, as I dealt with the children who were most like myself when I was their age. A few times, I wanted to cry…by the end of the month, I did.

It happened so suddenly, when I was completely on my own after a coworker bailed out on her shift in order to go on a date with her boyfriend. It was on a day that the daycare supervisor called in sick. I was up to my neck in children, watching over toddlers that my coworker was supposed to watch while I cared for the older children.

The anxiety and stressed build up over a short period of time, eventually reaching a limit when a toddler almost got hurt after climbing up a shelf and causing it to topple over. I managed to keep the shelf from falling onto her, but the situation itself was too close for comfort, that it just…pushed me over the edge.

I wanted to go home, but I couldn't. I had a job to do, and even if I didn't, it wouldn't even be right to leave all these children on their own. Still, I just wanted to run away…

I tried telling myself to keep it together, that I only had to work for a few more days before I could quit. That's when I found myself surrounded by children, their tiny arms wrapping around me as they did their best to calm me down. A few of them even apologized to me, saying that they never meant to make me cry.

It was so surreal, but…

_I don't hate this._

I got a raise after that day, as an apology for the hell I went through, watching over so many children on my own. My coworker got fired, however, for neglecting to show up on a day that her attendance was mandatory. Good riddance, I find myself thinking before grabbing a book off the shelf to read to the children.

It's nice, having so many children at my side, now that they've stopped pulling me in every direction. Some of them still do act out from time to time, but not often enough. All it takes is for another child to remind them that if they keep it up, I'll cry again, and they just stop.

I usually get a flower crown or even a messy drawing as some sort of apology. It's cute…

What isn't cute is finding out your coworker goes to the same high school as you, and has her friends pick on you for getting her in trouble. Like, geez, if you didn't want to get in trouble, then _maybe_ you shouldn't have ditched work for your boyfriend…

Not that I care, since I now have something to do after school each day. Sure, it's annoying to have a second-year student on your case, but it's easy to forget all about that when you have a group of children wanting your attention.

I know I told myself that I was going to quit as soon as I got my new phone, but…I stayed. To be honest, being a caretaker isn't that bad of a job. It has its ups and downs, but otherwise, it's nothing I can't handle. It's certainly better than being stuck in a house, under the scrutinizing eye of Mother. Even now, nothing I do is enough for her.

Meanwhile, poor Takahiro is getting pushed more and more towards his studies. I'm doing my best to alleviate some of the stress he's dealing with, but there's only so much I can do when Mother refuses to let me near him while he's like this. By the time I was finally allowed near him, it was already too late.

After being sent to a famous prep school, Takahiro finally snapped under all the pressure of studying. He started acting out, dyeing his hair a different color and acting like a typical Japanese delinquent. It's disgusting how easily Mother and Father were able to give up on Takahiro, calling him a failure like me.

By then, I was in my second year of high school, still dealing with petty bullies and a part-time job at a daycare. With all the extra cash I had been saving up, I started buying otome games and manga. Occasionally, I'd buy DVD sets of anime and manga that managed to catch my eye. And the less said about my light novel collection, the better.

_Please don't ask._

I…might've gone overboard, so I ended up taking a second part-time job at a cosplay café. So back into the maid outfit I go!

_Okaerinasaimase, goshujinsama!_

At least this time, the pay was worth the hassle…and it was a weekend job, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. That still didn't make my face hurt any less from all the smiling I've forced myself to do around customers. Though, come summer vacation, I threw all that smiling out the window. The daycare I worked at had given me time off for the duration of my summer vacation, so I decided to make the most of my free time by working more hours at the cosplay café.

It was the biggest mistake of my life, because there's only so much teasing I can tolerate on a weekly basis—especially if it's from customers. Honestly, I was expecting to get fired, except…that didn't happen. In actuality, I got a raise, because there was something _charming_ about my resting bitch face that brought in more customers than usual. Apparently, I had that tsundere appeal that now made me a favorite amongst regulars.

_Can I go back to childcare?_

I miss my kids and their adorable antics…as chaotic as they can be at times. I mean, I certainly prefer their shenanigans over the rowdy teenagers and grown-ass adults I have to deal with at the café. Once—_just once_—I had to make use of the personal safety alarm I kept in my bag.

I got another raise after that as a sort of bribe to keep me from quitting. I mean, I wasn't planning on quitting to begin with, but hey—more money~!

_It's nice having money…_

Too bad Takahiro doesn't understand the appeal, with the way he tried to get me to quit after that incident. Thankfully, I was able to get him off my case by letting him walk me home after work. It's honestly cute seeing him act so worried for my wellbeing.

_At least someone cares…_

I went back to my usual work schedule at the end of my summer vacation. My school life resumed without any issues, besides the ones that already existed… And then my classmates decided that they wanted to do a cosplay café for our school's cultural festival.

_Lame!_

Once—**just once**—I'd like to be part of a haunted house. Instead, I got shoved into _Danmachi_ cosplay as Hestia, because no one else wanted to wear it. I gave my female classmates the stink eye as they tried to tie the blue ribbon under my nonexistent boobs, wondering who in the _fuck_ thought this was a good idea.

It certainly got a few laughs out of my classmates. My ex-coworker and her friends made it their goal to get as many people to see me in this outfit so that they could poke fun at my cosplay. It worked at first…until a group of boys that were rather popular with the student body showed up and decided that my cosplay was more cute than pitiful. That, in turn, got everyone else to shut up about my nonexistent boobs and instead, talk about my moe appeal.

So I came out of that experience with a handful of fans on my side. Not what I was expecting, but hey—it could be worse.

_And it __**did**__ get worse!_

My somewhat quiet existence at school took a hectic turn when I started getting bullied by some jealous girls. It was like something out of a shoujo manga, except worse.

_It's worse because it's fucking __**real**__._

Apparently, some girls felt that I didn't deserve the attention I received during the cultural festival. Of these girls, was my ex-coworker, who was absolutely _livid_ that I managed to attract the attention of some popular boys. As if my existence didn't piss her off enough already, it turned out that she had a crush on one of those boys.

_Why me?_

And I was doing so well, just staying out of everyone's business. And then this bitch decides to fuck up the last two years of my high school life. For fuck's sakes, she's graduating this year!

_Get off my dick!_

Since I was already used to dealing with that bitch and her friends, I didn't have to worry about my shoes or books getting stolen by anyone else. I made it a habit to always keep them on me—_just in case_. It certainly paid off, though it only pissed off my ex-coworker and the other girls.

That's how I got a bucket of dirty water thrown on me while I was sweeping the floors of our classroom after school. I had trash thrown at me, graffiti all over my desk, and at one point, I got locked in a supply closet.

It really sucks not having any friends, because I have to rely on others to get me out of this mess on their own accord. Which is…almost never, because no one wants to get involved with Moss Eyes—that's what they started calling me, by the way.

Green isn't that common of an eye color around these parts, and my sharp eyes give me this resting bitch face that makes me look like I'm about to stab someone if they so much as piss me off. It's…probably why I wasn't able to make any friends, apart from my parents effectively sabotaging my social life as a child with their arrogance. The reason I bring this up is because my ex-coworker pointed a pair of scissors at my eyes after I got jumped in the girl's restroom during lunch.

That…that wasn't funny—I can't even make any jokes. That shit fucking terrified me, and I'm honestly glad that all that really happened is that they cut my hair into a short, choppy mess. I thought I was going to lose an eye…

I cried after that, catching the attention of our school's student council president—who just so happened to be one of the boys who got me into this mess in the first place. Like, sure, he's a nice-looking guy, but I'm not exactly in the mood to get into any relationships—not with the way my parents are. I wanna get out of that house first before I try my luck with love.

Anyways, that incident brought the end to the bullying, with my ex-coworker getting expelled and the other girls being suspended. I got a bunch of written apologies from them, but I didn't really bother looking at them, since I can tell they weren't genuine. They still call me Moss Eyes from time to time, but otherwise, I'm left alone.

Mother criticized me for my short hair, ignoring the fact that I had been _bullied_.

_It's not like asked for this to happen!_

Of course, that didn't stop her from acting like I did. And the reason why was because she set me up on an omiai.

_I'm only sixteen—what the absolute fuck?!_

My own mother arranged a marriage interview with a grown-ass man. He was a wealthy man that Father had befriended during one of his business trips. The two had talked over drinks and when the man had mentioned his terrible luck with women, Father had the most _brilliant_ idea to introduce me to him. When he brought this up to Mother, she was all too eager to accept.

_Unbelievable!_

I have never been so relieved to have had my hair cut in such a traumatizing fashion, because that's what turned that man away from me, saying that I was too tomboyish for his tastes. Mother scolded me afterwards, with Father just giving me a disapproving look—as if I _ever_ looked for his approval.

_I need to get out of this house…_

Takahiro started reaching out to me after that, giving me the opportunity to drag him into my hobbies. I wanted him to give him an outlet for his stress, since Mother and Father were no fucking help. And honestly? I just wanted someone to talk to, since I don't have any friends…

It worked a lot better than I was expecting, so now I have a dating sim buddy to talk trash about overused tropes and scenarios. He started smiling a lot more, and laughing, too. He still dyed his hair and acted out, but mostly out of spite towards our parents.

_I don't blame him._

I started saving up my money after that, being a lot more mindful about my spending habits. I paid more attention to my studies, hoping to improve my grades in ways that could land me a scholarship that wouldn't leave me reliant on parents for college tuition. Takahiro did the same, not wanting me to leave him behind.

_God, I wish he hadn't said that…_

Now I can't leave him behind—I just can't…

_I guess it's back to jobhunting again._

Because I needed to set aside some savings for Takahiro—just enough so that he could get by when I eventually leave. With my current schedule, I had to focus on part-time jobs in the evening, which…didn't leave me many options. So here I am, in the Red Light District, having an interview with the owner of a hostess club.

_No one must __**ever**__ know!_

My reputation is at stake, so I can't afford to let _anyone_ find out about this. For that reason alone, I had to dip into my savings to buy a whole new wardrobe, with make-up and circle lenses to make it more difficult for anyone to recognize me. I bought a high-quality wig to hide my short, choppy hair, making it look as though I had straight, black hair that was long enough to reach my hips. The wig had bangs that were cut straight across, with mid-length strands that framed the sides of my face. It gave me this sort of doll-like appearance, which instantly caught the eye of a very wealthy customer during my first day of work.

Thankfully, he wasn't that creepy of a guy, in that he wasn't trying to get me to sleep with him. He just…liked talking to me. I…don't know how to feel about this.

_Just keep that money coming._

I only have to deal with this shit for four more years, when I'm old enough to drink and am legally considered an adult. It's rough, but…I think I can handle it. Sure, it's difficult finding any time to study and sleep, but it's certainly better than being forced to go to another omiai…which happened anyway, because Mother thinks that the only thing that I'm good for is becoming some rich dude's wife.

I had visible shadows under my eyes by the end of my second year of high school. I managed to keep my grades up, and now that Takahiro had an outlet for his stress, he was able to focus enough on his studies to make a noticeable comeback. Of course, Mother and Father were skeptical, but this isn't about them—they can fuck right off.

I was in the top ten of my class when I graduated from high school. I managed to land a decent scholarship to a nearby university, but I still had to live with Mother and Father. Regretfully, I had to quit my part-time job at a daycare—I just wasn't making enough money there and I needed more time to study and sleep…

I still had to go to omiai from time to time, which prompted me to keep my hair short and choppy. I kept make-up removal wipes on me, to wipe away the foundation covering the dark circles under my eyes. It made me look less appealing to whatever marriage candidate my parents were trying to set me up with.

_Just two more years…_

University life was a lot easier to get through when you have a good idea of where you want to go. In my case, it was chemistry—why chemistry? Because it's what I knew best from my past life. It certainly made the classes a lot easier, though I still had to force myself to study.

Thankfully, Takahiro was there to help me out when my depression tried to kick my ass to the curb. He was also there to bail me out when a confrontation with a customer at the hostess club I worked at got a little…_handsy_. Yeah, Takahiro forced me to quit after that.

While he was at it, he also forced me to quit working at that cosplay café—which I was about to do anyways, since that job was really wearing me down. Now I had nothing else to do but study and otherwise, just dick around with the videogames and manga I had. Takahiro was happy to have me around again, since he was getting lonely.

Mother and Father regained their hope in Takahiro, since he became the top of his class and even managed to get into a good high school. You can imagine the unwanted comments I got from them, for not being able to do the same.

_Whatever…_

At least I don't have to worry too much about Takahiro when I finally leave this place. He still had that trust fund I made for him, as well as the abundant allowance Father was giving him for his good grades. I got a share of that, too, since I had a hand in that…though Father would prefer not to acknowledge that.

On the day of my twentieth birthday, I skipped out on the omiai my parents set up for me. I had collected most of my belongings before I left the house that day, leaving the rest for Takahiro to keep for himself. I messaged him on his phone, informing him about the trust fund I set up for him to use when he was old enough to leave Mother and Father. After ensuring that I would answer any questions he had for me in the evening, I turned off my phone and made my way to the Red Light District.

I'd be lying if I said I never expected to find myself here again, because there are a lot of places here that still hold my interest…like love hotels.

Did you know it's cheaper to spend the night in a love hotel instead of an actual hotel? I sure did, because my interests are all over the fucking place when it's three o'clock in the fucking morning. Praise be to my past life's random YouTube binges.

I picked the fanciest love hotel and checked in…at least, that had been the plan before I bumped into a group of four girls who were discussing which room that they were going to stay in. They looked like they were around my age, dressed in fashionable clothes that looked pretty expensive—nothing like my boyish-looking hoodie and jeans.

A gyaru with blonde hair and tanned skin looked away from her friends, her gaze falling on me. A wide smile crossed her face as she clapped her hands together and asked if I wanted to party with them. So that's how I found myself getting drunk with a group of girls who were all too eager to welcome me as their new friend.

They were runaways, like me, and tonight was a special occasion for one of the girls, because she managed to land a high-paying job that finally got her out of the net café she had been calling home for the past year. They all knew each other because they often ran into each other while jobhunting.

At least two of them had worked as escorts, which explained why they felt so comfortable around love hotels. The gyaru who had reached out to me had connections with the owner of this particular love hotel. She took a long drink from her fuzzy navel before asking me if I knew how to cook.

The reason why she asked is because the owner of the love hotel was looking for another cook to help out in the kitchen. Not many people were willing to work in the love hotel industry due to the stigma around the industry. I, however, did not give a shit about that and after drinking my third glass of Peach Fizz, I asked immediately about the pay and when I could start.

That got me a few laughs from the gyaru. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in closely. She clinked her glass against mine before downing the rest of her drink.

Things got pretty wild after that, no thanks to one of the girls deciding that they wanted to watch something, only to remember at the very last second that we were in a love hotel. Whoever was in this room previously had forgotten to turn down the volume, so I just about choked on my food when my ears were blasted with the loud sound of inappropriate moans.

So that was how Yumi found out I was a virgin. Yumi, by the way, is the name of the gyaru who hooked me up with a job. The other girls were named Haru, Momoka, and Atsuko. By the end of the evening, I knew more than I probably should about these girls…but I don't mind. Because for the first time in many years, I finally made some friends.

It didn't take me that long to adjust to my new living conditions. The owner of the love hotel allowed me to live here while I worked for him. All I had to do, besides pay a bi-weekly fee, was change rooms every three days. The owner had a business to run and the last thing he wanted was for a room to stay blocked off from potential customers.

Honestly, there aren't that many downsides to living in a love hotel. The rooms were always clean, as were the bathrooms. The beds were always soft, and sometimes, the room came with an indoor pool. It was nice having such a cool place to kick back…ignoring the sex toys and condoms I would find all over the place.

_It's a love hotel—what else were you expecting?_

I still had classes to attend at my university and while the distance there from the love hotel was a lot farther than I was used to, it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle.

Yumi made it a habit to check up on me, forcing me out on outings with the other girls on our days off. It's thanks to her that my hair was slowly making a recovery from all the short, choppy haircuts I had given to myself to deter any marriage candidates. Maybe in a few months, I'll be able to pull it back into a ponytail again.

_Maybe._

Takahiro often called, wanting to make sure that I was doing okay. He was the one who gave me the news that I've been disowned. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been expecting that, though what actually surprised me the most was how _hurt_ I felt from knowing that I've been disowned.

I drank my sorrows away that night, waking up the next morning with a massive hangover just hours before an exam. Despite my reckless actions, I managed to pass the exam—though just barely.

Work wasn't all that difficult, especially since I was given free meals during my shifts. My cooking has improved immensely since my first day, to the point that I managed to get a promotion after three months. Yumi arranged a party that evening with the rest of our friends, wanting to celebrate the progress I've made.

During one of Yumi's drunken tirades, I found out the reason why she reached out to me that day. She took one look at me and decided that I was someone that had to be protected. Because no one had been there for her when she needed help the most…

"You shine the brightest when you're with friends," she tells me, her hand gently caressing my cheek. "Like a polished gem… You have so much potential—never forget that, okay?"

I took her words to heart, letting them guide me through the next few months as I focused on my studies. Whenever I found myself feeling down, those words gave me the nudge I needed to keep moving forward.

_I can do this._

Six months into my new and improved lifestyle, I finally found out _why_ my name sounded so familiar. It happened as I was at the library, walking through the aisles when a book landed on my fucking head.

"Ow!"

Tears sprang to my eyes as I stumbled back a few steps. My vision blurred momentarily, and my gaze shifted downwards to see what it was that had hit my head. It was a hardcover book, titled, _The Record of the Four Holy Weapons_, which sounded like something out of an isekai web novel. Curious, despite my throbbing head, I knelt down to pick up the book. I skimmed through it, barely paying any attention to its contents. I stopped on a blank page, wondering briefly about what was supposed to here.

Then, without any warning, my world faded to black. I'm not sure what happened, but when I opened my eyes, I found myself staring at a group of men dressed in robes.

_What the fuck?_

My thoughts were so jumbled up, that I couldn't make out what the men in robes were saying as they talked amongst each other. I quickly got onto my feet, taking note of the glowing circle that was beneath me. I was on some sort of altar, with three other people besides me. My blood ran cold when I noticed the weapons that they held in their hands—one a bow, another a sword, and the last, a spear.

_Oh no…_

I swallowed hard and forced myself to look at my left arm. Sure enough, there was a shield attached to it. And after twenty years of being reincarnated into a different world, I now knew why Iwatani Naofumi was **such** a familiar name.

_Well, __**something**__ went wrong._

I forced myself to smile, screams echoing within the depths of my mind. I didn't want to be here—I literally just got my life together after dying and getting reincarnated! I am **not** in the mood to throw all of _that_ the fuck away to save some world I barely even know.

I'm already off to a _brilliant_ start as the Shield Hero.

_Please just let me go home._

"Come on. Let's go." A young man with long, blond hair and red eyes extended his hand towards me, snapping me out of my thoughts with his voice. He smiled at me, which was…strange. From the looks of the spear he's holding in his other hand, this dude is the Spear Hero and…I don't ever recall him being so nice to the Shield Hero.

_What the fuuuuuuck._

I let out a yelp when the Spear Hero decided I was taking too long and reached out to grab my hand. His grip was strong, and his hands were rather big in comparison to mine. Even he seemed to notice, from the way he made a comment.

"Were you always this dainty?" Dude, do I _know_ you?

God, I wish I knew more from what I read in the manga (which wasn't a lot to begin with…). A part of me regrets not buying the light novel when I had the chance. Then again, I did take one look at the harem tag and decided that it wasn't worth the purchase after giving the manga a shot. Like, I don't exactly hate harems…I'm just tired of them because it's always the same damn thing. It gets boring, and the last thing I want to read about is harem in an isekai setting.

_Isekai and harems don't mix, unless you're Bakarina._

God, I actually wish I was Katarina Claes instead of Iwatani Naofumi… I mean sure, she's got a lot of flags to avoid, but hey—I rather that, than be accused of a crime I never committed.

_Oh fuck—__**that's**__ a thing!_

Beads of sweat were rolling down the side of my face as I stared at the old man that reclining in his throne.

"My name is Aultcray Melromarc XXXII, and I rule these lands." Neat, I don't give a shit—I wanna go home. "Heroes, show me your faces."

And I guess that's our cue to introduce ourselves.

_Hi, my name is Iwatani Naofumi and I wanna __**die**__!_

I don't really mean that, because I already died once.

_If I die again, do I get reincarnated again?_

I have no idea, nor do I want to find out. At this point, I'd do just about anything to go back to the love hotel so I don't have to listen to the king explain everything that's going on with this world. I'd even dive under beds for used sex toys and condoms if it means not having to listen to this old guy ramble on.

After what felt like hours to me, the old man _finally_ had us introduce ourselves. You'd think he'd let us do that earlier, but apparently not…

The first one up to introduce himself was the Sword Hero. He wasn't that tall of a person, with short, black hair and blue eyes. He had fair skin and a rather pretty face like a typical bishounen I'd see in shoujo manga or the otome games I've played.

"My name is Amaki Ren, age sixteen," he introduced himself. "I'm a high schooler."

That explains a lot about his height. Ren was likely long overdue for a growth spurt. He's a lot like Takahiro, who hasn't exactly grown since he entered middle school. Grant it, he's had a few centimeters on me for quite some time, but I'm not that tall of a person to begin with, so…

_Gosh, teenagers are so tiny these days._

The Bow Hero stepped up after Ren. "I am Kawasumi Itsuki, seventeen-years-old. I'm in high school as well."

Itsuki had light, brown hair that was wavy and gold-colored eyes that were most peculiar. And despite being older than Ren, Itsuki was shorter than him—I think we might actually be the same height. I would check, buuuut…that'd be awkward, considering that everyone's eyes were now focused on me.

"I'm Iwatani Naofumi." I tried my best to keep my voice steady, which was difficult when under the disapproving gaze of Aultcray Melromarc XXXII. Knowing that he hates my fucking guts just makes it all the more difficult. "I'm a twenty-year-old university student."

I could tell that Ren and Itsuki were having a hard time believing me. Like, yeah, I'm short—but I'm not _that_ short! And after all the shit I've been through, I don't think I have _that_ much of a baby face…

_As far as I know._

I've gotten used to being treated like an adult since I first started working at that hostess club.

_That…that's not something I should be proud of._

Okay, I am in serious need of some therapy if I want to get past all these issues caused by my neglectful parents.

_Good luck finding __**that**__ here._

Pushing all those thoughts aside, I turned my attention to the Spear Hero, who has not said anything since we entered the throne room. His face was blank, as though he was lost in thought.

"Hey!" I jabbed the Spear Hero with my elbow. "Introduce yourself!"

The Spear Hero blinked a few times. "Oh. My name is Kitamura Motoyasu. I'm twenty…"

"Twenty years old…?" I thought the Spear Hero was supposed to be the oldest out of us four.

_Well, shit—there goes whatever foresight I had…_

"No—I'm twenty-one, I say!" Okay, false alarm—we're still in the clear.

"You a university student too?" Come on—prove me right! I need reassurance that I'm not thoroughly screwed as the Shield Hero.

"Well…" Motoyasu closed his eyes as he grinned. "I'm actually a Love Hunter!"

_What._

"He's clearly unemployed," Itsuki felt the need to comment.

"No—he's probably an escort." I mean, it only makes sense. I've seen my fair share of male escorts while working at that love hotel. Motoyasu wouldn't be out of place amongst them. "He _did_ call himself a Love Hunter…"

I still don't know why he did that, but I'm trying to make the most of his outburst because it's not matching up with what I know.

_Keep it together—we're still in the clear…I hope._

"Now then. Ren, Motoyasu, and Itsuki…correct?" And just like that, the king's already ignoring me.

_Just like Mother and Father._

Man, I miss my past life. Sure, I still had a lot issues, but my parents at least gave a shit about me…

_How much longer do I have to put up with these guys?_

I just wanna get going, so I can buy Raphtalia and peace the fuck out of here. At least she won't ignore me…_wait_—

_Isn't she like a child right now?_

…

…

Oh my god, I have to get her out of that cage!

_Get on with it, you old man!_

Too bad the Spear Hero, Motoyasu, decided to throw everything I knew about The Rising of the Shield Hero by scolding the king for forgetting about my name. Now it wasn't the fact that he was standing up for me that threw me off, rather—it was what he said to the king that made me question _everything_.

"Don't you forget Father's name!"

_Excuse me?!_

…

…

…

* * *

A/N SO THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY RISING OF THE SHIELD HERO, BUT RATHER, REPRISE OF THE SPEAR HERO.

Meaning we have a timelooping Motoyasu who is about ready to buy a lot of Filolials and mess with the timeline. He's here on his first loop, but there's something he hasn't quite noticed just yet about SI!Naofumi…

Like the fact that she's an SI, or the fact that she should be referred to as Mother, instead of Father. That's where I got the idea for the name of this fic, so let's see what sort of chaos comes out of this.

Also I'm not the only one writing fem!Naofumi fics, because this all started when I fell into the rabbit hole and it continued further, when friends **ChibiFoxAI** and **ShirakiNagi** decided to follow me down. So here we are, publishing our fics at the same fucking time.

This effort is brought to you by the bread and bitter discord chat, where we're all enablers and isekai hell is literally the name of our writing channel for potential fanfics of any isekai. By the by, because this is a self-insert, that means Naofumi has ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Naofumi is also panromantic asexual, so…if you're expecting things to be hella straight, then I don't know what to tell you guys. Assume no one is straight unless I say so, which I rarely ever do.

That's about all I have for now. I'm about ready to go check out the fics my friends wrote. Feel free to send them love and maybe leave a review if you want. We all crave validation, and it certainly helps keep us motivated.

Until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


	2. Partnership

"Who are you calling Father?!" I'm so fucking flustered, that my voice actually cracked.

"Oh, my bad." Motoyasu tried to laugh it off, but I knew something was off. "You look like the father of the girl I love, so it just came out like that unintentionally."

…

…

"Okay, there's a lot to unpack here, but let's just throw away the whole damn suitcase." I really don't want to acknowledge this blond himbo, but he's making it _extremely_ difficult to ignore him.

_You need better jokes, my dude…_

"You're quite the jokester, Father!" _Please_ stop calling me that. "As you wish!"

_I swear this man is going to bring me to an early grave!_

"Heroes, please keep personal conversations to a minimum." If it wasn't for the fact that the king had it out for me, I'd appreciate his attempts to keep the conversation from spiraling out of control. Instead, I'm just resisting the urge to give him the finger as he directs a look of displeasure at me.

_Well, fuck you too!_

"Anyways, I'd like for the king to apologize for intentionally failing to state Naofumi's name!" Hhhhh, I'm not used to hearing strangers call me by my first name so casually like that…

"Wh-Who said you can call me like that so casually?!" I could feel my face heating up from embarrassment.

"Ahh, a tsundere." Who the **fuck** said that—was it Ren?!

"Would you prefer it if I call you Father, then?" Motoyasu looked questioningly at me, ignoring everyone else's confused looks as they tried to figure out what was going on inside his head.

"N-No!" That's _weird_!

"Then Naofumi it is!" Oh, you son of a bitch—I'm gonna wipe that grin off your face! "You know, you're rather feisty…"

"Please stop talking to me." Just give me my money so I can buy Raphtalia and get out of here.

"Not until the king apologizes!" Motoyasu pointed his finger at the old man in question. "Trash here is intent on trying to cause the downfall of the Shield Hero!"

_How the __**hell**__ do you know that?!_

I don't like this. I don't like this one bit—why is the Spear Hero on my side?!

_How much do you know?!_

Enough to get the king to apologize to me, apparently, from the way he just cut off Motoyasu from saying any more than he needed to.

"Just who do you think you are, calling the king, 'trash'?" Ren looked suspiciously at Motoyasu, who just blinked and smiled widely as he proudly exclaimed, "I'm the Love Hunter!"

A part of me still hopes that's his way of saying he's an escort, but from the look of things, it's not.

_Do I __**want**__ to know the context?_

…

No, I don't—I'd rather not.

"Ahem." The king cleared his throat to catch our attention. "We got a bit off track there. Heroes, please confirm your status and give yourselves an objective evaluation."

_Huh?_

…

_Oh right—videogame mechanics!_

Might as well get used to that…as soon as I figure out how to check my stats.

"Haven't you noticed any weird icons hanging out in your peripheral vision?" I didn't until you mentioned it, Motoyasu. "Just focus your mind on those!"

It's _slowly_ starting to dawn on me that Motoyasu knows a whole lot more than he should, for someone who just got isekai'd.

_What does this mean?!_

It means I'm screwed, because Motoyasu just threw _everything_ I knew outside the fucking window. Grant it, I didn't know that much to begin with, but it _still_ says a lot about my expectations not meeting reality, no thanks to this blond himbo, here!

_Why are we biting the hand that feeds us?_

I should be nicer to Motoyasu, since he's genuinely trying to help me…in his weird, strange ways that make me question his sanity. I should know better, and yet I don't, because I'm too busy freaking out over _his foreknowledge that shouldn't fucking exist_.

I tried to distract myself by actually looking at my stats, focusing on the icon I could make out in my peripheral vision. It's so fucking weird…

_Level 1…_

Ahh, the grind—this is gonna be _fun_ as a tank.

_And by fun, I mean hell!_

My only experience as a tank was in _Final Fantasy XIV_, and it was short-lived, because as it turns out—being impatient is the worst trait to have when you're a tank. So you can only imagine how quickly I was able to adapt as a DPS when I finally changed classes.

_Too bad I won't be able to do the same here._

Not with this shield, and certainly not with _that_ fucking attack stat!

_Oh my god, I have become Mash Kyrielight._

I must channel my inner kouhai if I wanna live…

_This is gonna take a while._

"Shields are pretty useless." Man, shut the fuck up, Ren!

"Hey—tanks are useful!" They keep your ass alive while you beat on the boss! "Y'all are fucking stupid if you sleep on the person who takes all the aggro for you!"

I think back on the memories I had of me and my friends just dicking around in _Final Fantasy XIV_. We all had our roles, and I fucking respected our healer and tank. I don't know how they manage that playstyle, but without them, we would've fucking died so many times…

_We certainly died to Ifrit a lot._

Good times…

"You're quite the character." I'll take that as a compliment, Itsuki.

"What're you looking at?" Motoyasu was staring at me again. "You wanna fight?"

"You are quite the jester, Fa—I mean, Naofumi!" You almost slipped!

I narrowed my eyes at Motoyasu. "You're lucky my attack stat is shit."

"Speaking of which—what are we supposed to do with these low numbers?" Itsuki asked.

"Yes, well, you will need to go on a journey to further polish your abilities and to strengthen the legendary weapons you possess," the king explained.

"Alright then, let's get to it!" I clapped my hands. "You don't like me, I don't like you—give me some money and I'll be permanently out of your sight!"

"_Excuse_ _me_?" You heard me, old man! I'm not putting up with your shit. You canned these worms, now deal with it.

"First him, now you?" Ren gave me a look of disapproval that was not unlike the ones that I would receive from Mother and Father.

_Ahh, memories._

I'm glad I'm out of that house. "Hey, what the—!"

"It is not advisable that you leave on your own, Naofumi!" I am aware of that, Motoyasu—now put me down! Who gave you permission to touch me?!

"So are you two going to form a party, then?" Itsuki asked, tilting his head to the side in question. "You seem oddly…close."

"I assure you that I don't know him!" I flailed around in Motoyasu's arms, trying to get out of his hold. He's a lot stronger than I was expecting him to be, for such a pretty boy!

"It won't work anyways," Motoyasu said as a matter of fact. "The legendary weapons interfere with each other and prevent us from gaining experience. We can share the materials used to strengthen them though."

_What._

"H-How…_How_ do you know that?" I stopped struggling for a moment out of shock.

"That's because I come from the future, I say!" Motoyasu proudly proclaimed.

_The future?_

A part of me wants to call him out on his bullshit, but…the sad thing is, I _actually_ believe him. "I see…"

That makes too much sense, because I refuse to believe that this blond himbo would otherwise know so much about a weapon he just recently received.

"Are you okay, Father?" Fuck it—if he wants to call me Father, then so be it. I guess I'll put up with his bad jokes…

"No, I'm not." I wanna go _baaaaaaaaaack_. "Please let me go."

Thankfully, Motoyasu did as he was told, his smile never once leaving his face. He seemed especially eager to get on my good side, from the way he carefully smoothed out the wrinkles in my hoodie. "Sorry, sorry!"

I avoided his gaze, not in any mood at all to even look at him. I was much like a cat that has finally had enough…only without claws to fight back.

_Both figuratively and literally._

Unless I can actually use this shield to bop him on the head…

_Hmmmmmm…_

I don't actually go through with it, but damn, I sure did _think_ about it a lot. Hell, I thought about it long after we were brought to a guest room with luxurious beds. Motoyasu was sitting on the bed closest to mine, flashing me a smile when he noticed I was staring at him. I stuck my tongue out at him and then turned my attention back on my shield.

_Might as well learn more about it…_

Or try—I can certainly do that, because as soon as I switched over to what appeared to be a skill tree menu, my brain shut down.

_Okay, that's enough thinking for today._

I closed out the menu on the screen in front of me and just let my back hit the mattress of my bed. I stared up at the ceiling, sighing loudly in exasperation.

"Is something wrong, Father?" Yes, there is—it's **you**.

"Why do you keep calling Iwatani that?" I believe Motoyasu already gave an answer, _buuuut_…

_I'm still hoping that was just a bad joke._

"Iwatani doesn't look _that_ old." I'm older than you at least, Ren, so don't even _think_ about calling me a child. I _know_ that look on your face. "Iwatani looks more like a middle-schooler."

Okay, that's it! "Take that!"

I grabbed the pillow off my bed and threw it at Ren. It missed his face spectacularly, as he caught the pillow in his hands before it had a chance to hit him. He huffed out a laugh, giving me such a pitying look for somehow managing to prove his point of how old I actually looked.

"Show some respect to your elders!" Motoyasu threw a pillow at Ren, and unlike me, he actually landed a hit, sending feathers into the air as Ren fell back onto his bed.

_Thump!_

That was satisfying to see, but not as satisfying as it would've been, had I done it myself.

"Nice aim," Itsuki remarked, looking almost impressed. "My turn."

And that's how I got a pillow straight into my face.

_Thump!_

"It's mine now!" I ain't giving it back.

"You're so childish, Father!" Motoyasu laughed and laughed, too distracted to take much notice of his surroundings, which is why he didn't notice that I was running towards him. I was armed with only a pillow and as soon as I got close enough to him, I whacked him over the head with the pillow. Surprisingly, he only laughed even harder, finding my behavior amusing instead of annoying.

That's when I got whacked in the face with a pillow, Ren having meant for that to hit Motoyasu instead of me. Motoyasu retaliated by snatching the pillow out of Ren's hands and outright pummeling him with it into submission, sending multiple feathers flying into the air. Itsuki, not wanting to be left out, took to helping Ren out by disrupting Motoyasu's balance with a well-timed hit.

By the time we were called in to dine, feathers were scattered all over the floor and beds, the pillows no longer in any state for use. I was pulling out the feathers that had gotten stuck in my hair when I noticed that Motoyasu was helping. I swatted his hands away, telling him to keep his distance.

My time at the cosplay café and hostess club has made me rather wary of men who get close to me while I'm distracted. It wasn't intentional, it just…happened. I guess I got so used to keeping my guard up around men that it just became a reflex. Thankfully, it's situational, but old habits die hard…

In the castle's banquet hall, was a table full food in a buffet-like fashion. We were told to eat as much as we liked, as the food was specially prepared for us. That was all I needed to hear before sitting down at the table and piling food onto my plate.

_I don't know what this is, but I want it!_

I started off with small amounts on my plate, but while I was eating, Motoyasu just added more food, saying, "Father should eat more!"

I narrowed my eyes at him, swallowing the food inside my mouth. "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Because you look like the father of the girl I fell in love with!" Motoyasu gleefully explained with a wide smile on his face.

"Seriously?!" I thought that was a bad joke!

"Seriously!" Motoyasu confirmed, his smile never leaving his face.

_Hello?!_

"Iwatani isn't that old, so what does that say about the girl Kitamura likes?" Itsuki asked, pointing out the obvious that made me wary of Motoyasu a lot more than I already was.

"Ahh, so he's _that_ type of guy." Ren gave Motoyasu a disapproving look.

Motoyasu only laughed it off, which didn't exactly sit well with me. I scooted my seat to the left, trying to put some distance between me and him. I went back to eating my food, which had pretty unique twists to it, like an omelet-type food that tasted like an orange.

That threw me the fuck off, which made me ignore it as I wasn't expecting something savory to have such a taste. I put it to the side, which only encouraged Motoyasu to lightly chastise me for not finishing my food. Annoyed, I picked up my plate and just pushed my unfinished food onto his.

"Done!" I exclaimed before getting out of my seat and making my way back to our room. I broke into a run, ignoring the strange looks I was receiving, not wanting to deal with this reality any longer. I wanted out, even if just for a moment.

I jumped onto my bed and just rolled myself into a blanket burrito. I tried to force myself to go to sleep, but alas, it is not that easy when you have feathers stabbing into you and brain that refuses to go to sleep. So when I finally decided to do something about it, Motoyasu was already there, sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Why do you keep following me?!" I pointed an accusatory finger at him as soon as I freed it from its burrito-esque confines. I'm still mad at the dude for fucking up whatever foreknowledge I had, but also, he was starting to get on my nerves.

_I am __**not**__ anyone's father-in-law!_

"This place has it out for the Shield Hero," he replied with a serious look on his face. "Filo-tan will never forgive me if I let something happen to you!"

_Filo-tan?_

Isn't that the name of the bird that was with Naofumi—wait a second, you wanna marry the bird?!

_Oh, this dude is a friggen' weirdo!_

I don't know what this dude's planning, but I refuse to let him become my son-in-law—not on my fucking watch! I whapped him with a nearly empty pillow case, sending whatever feathers were left inside of it into the air.

"H-Hey—calm down, Father!" Stop calling me that! "Geez, if you wanna play, then fine!"

What are you doing—_hey_! "Let go of me!"

I tried tugging my hands out of Motoyasu's grip, but all that accomplished was me pulling Motoyasu along as I fell back against the mattress.

_Thump!_

This cannot get any worse…

"You're a lot smaller than usual, I say." Of course, Motoyasu had to open his god, damned mouth!

"Get off me!" Do you not understand the implications of our current position?!

"Are we interrupting something?" Motoyasu might have not understood, but Ren and Itsuki sure as hell did!

My face felt like it was on fire from how hard I was blushing out of embarrassment. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as I tried to keep my cool…but that all went out the window as I wailed, "I wanna go back to the love hotel!"

_I wanna drink with Yumi and the girls!_

Anything would be better than dealing with this blond himbo!

"You called me an escort—ARE YOU AN ESCORT?!" Do I _look_ like I'm capable of sleeping around?!

_I never went past handholding, dammit!_

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I drew a line at being a hostess! Anything more than that was out of my league and something I would _never_ do, unless circumstances were **extremely** dire.

_Thankfully, we haven't reached JK Haru's levels of circumstances._

Of course, she had a unique skill that made it a bit better—_just a bit_.

_All I have is a fucking shield._

Good luck putting _that_ to use in the bedroom. At the way things are going, I'm on track to becoming a Great Sage like Rimuru Tempest.

_That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea…_

"Hey, Kitamura!" Motoyasu blinked, somewhat surprised with my sudden change in demeanor. "Is it possible to become a Sage?"

"No, why?" Motoyasu looked genuinely confused.

"Dammit." There goes _that_ plan. Oh well, I guess it wouldn't have worked anyways, since it had to happen before I got isekai'd. "Can you get off me now? You're kinda heavy…"

Thankfully, Motoyasu did as he was told, without any question…until _after_ he got off of me. He bombarded me with questions about my background, as if he didn't already know about it.

_Aren't you from the future?_

"Father never confided in me," Motoyasu confessed, looking somewhat ashamed of himself.

Thinking of it now, Motoyasu was an absolute dick to the original Naofumi. And if he did come from the future, then that would mean…

_He's trying to make up for his past mistakes._

"Huh…" I don't know how to feel about that. Part of me just wants to kick Motoyasu to the curb and pretend I don't know him, but another part of me wants to at least say something to him, in hopes that it could turn things in my favor. I'm not expecting much, but I would at least prefer not to get accused of a crime I didn't commit.

So I up and told him about what I was doing before I got summoned. It was nothing too personal, just that I've been living in a love hotel for six months after running away from home. That sure got a reaction out of Ren and Itsuki, who were eavesdropping.

_Does it count as eavesdropping when they're in the same room as us?_

I don't know, but I'd prefer it if they at least picked a more polite way to join the conversation, instead of upright asking, "What's in a love hotel?!"

High-schoolers Ren and Itsuki had curiosities that only I could answer. It was…weird, but, hey—if it gets these guys on my side, then that's fine.

"Did you ever…_use_ one?" Wow, way to be intrusive Ren.

"Hell no." I shook my head. "Why would I?"

"Ahh, so you're…_that_ type of person." Itsuki coughed into his hand.

"If you're gonna shame me for being a virgin, I'm dragging you and Ren into this." I don't wanna assume anything about Motoyasu, but considering his track record with women…I might as well consider him experienced. "Don't make me shame you."

_I learned from Momoka and Atsuko!_

That was enough to get Ren and Itsuki off my back. Motoyasu, on the other hand, seemed to have been brought to tears from whatever hardships he could only imagine about my life that brought me to a love hotel in the first place. Before he could even say anything, I clapped my hand over his mouth.

"Just so you know, I ran away because my parents were the worst." It's nothing too dramatic, you freaking himbo. "My life has never been any better, and I would love nothing more than to go home."

Too bad I'm stuck here, so I guess I should kiss that life goodbye.

_Ahh, I really wanna cryyyy!_

But not here—not in front of others!

_We can't let people know we __**feel**__!_

When I removed my hand from Motoyasu's mouth, I was surprised with his silence. Although, I could do without that look he was giving me.

_Is that pity?_

How rude! "You got something to say?!"

"I was just thinking about how difficult your life must have been." Motoyasu's smile is full of melancholy and untold regret. It's nothing like the stupid, happy-go-lucky smile he's had on his face for the past few hours.

"Yeah, well…" I ran my hand through my hair, sighing as I realized I had nothing to really say to that. "Thanks, I guess."

_For actually giving a damn about me._

It's still weird, but I guess it could be worse… "What is it now?"

"Just so you know, we all come from Japan," Motoyasu began, his expression somewhat serious. "But our Japans are completely different from each other."

"Wait—what?!" Oh son of a bitch—I _knew_ reading the manga only was going to bite me in the ass!

"Are you for real?!" Itsuki was just as surprised as I was, while Ren seemed especially skeptical of whatever crap was coming out of Motoyasu's mouth.

Motoyasu placed his hand on his chin. "From what I recall about Amaki's world, VRMMOs exist."

"Well yeah, isn't that normal?" Ren remarked, still less than impressed with Motoyasu.

"Dude, those things only exist in light novels and manga." I've read my fair share of them. "At least, where I'm from."

"Well…what about Kawasumi?" Ren turned to Itsuki, who looked far more confused than ever.

"I can't exactly remember the details about his world." Motoyasu made a face.

"Man, you really dropped the ball on this revelation." I was expecting more from you.

"And yet, you're unusually knowledgeable about all of this." Ren eyed Motoyasu suspiciously. "What's the deal with you?"

I'd liked to know that, too.

"I told you—I come from the future!" Motoyasu proudly patted his chest.

"Yeah, okay." Ren brushed him off, still not convinced.

"If that's the case, then why don't you share some of your future knowledge with us, huh?" I regret ever saying that, because the floodgates were opened and Motoyasu unleashed an ungodly amalgam of information that completely went over my head. Itsuki at least pretended that he was listening, while Ren buried his head underneath a pillow and forced himself to go to sleep.

Speaking of going to sleep, I passed out myself, though…I don't remember how or when. I just woke up and realized someone had tucked me into bed.

_That's…oddly sweet._

And maybe a bit weird, because I barely even know any of these guys…disregarding whatever fucking situation I've got going on with Motoyasu—_wait_…

_Oh, __**he**__ did it._

Welp…I don't know how I should feel about that.

_Where is that himbo anyways?_

"Iwatani, if you don't hurry up, you're going to get left behind!" Itsuki called out to me, making me very much aware that I was pretty much alone in this room. Ren had long since left, Motoyasu was _somewhere _(where exactly, I don't fucking know), and Itsuki just _barely_ stuck around, just long enough to ensure that I wasn't left out.

I stretched out my arms and legs before getting out of bed. I yawned loudly as I followed after Itsuki, who was heading towards the throne room to meet up with the king.

_Oh, him again._

The king was not at all pleased to see me again, and the feeling was fucking mutual, because I don't wanna deal with his bullshit.

"Good morning, Father!" And then there's _this_ asshole! "Did you sleep well?"

"Meh…" The bed was nice, but I'd still prefer it if I was back at my old place and not some shitty isekai setting…hello? It took a few seconds, but my nose soon wrinkled at the strange smell that seemed to be coming off of Motoyasu…which only got stronger when he moved in closer to greet me. "_Dude_!"

I pushed him away, using my other hand to pinch my nose. It's not that bad of a smell, but it's still pretty funky and my nose in this body is especially sensitive.

_It's amazing how much more you can smell when you aren't plagued by allergies 24/7._

"Kitamura, why do you stink?" Ren wasn't pulling back his punches.

"Stink's a bit rude." Motoyasu shifted his eyes on Ren, looking unamused with the teenaged boy. "This is the fine fragrance of the majestic filolial, I say!"

"Filolial…?" I furrowed my brow.

"Filolials are filolials!" Motoyasu beamed, absolutely ecstatic to talk about the strange…creature he seemed to be especially familiar with.

"That doesn't explain anything," Itsuki remarked.

"They are bird-type monsters that pull carriages," the minister assigned to us explained.

"Bird?" I immediately perked up, my heart nearly skipping a beat at the idea that there was a monster based off one of my most favorite animals.

_Are they like chocobos?!_

Ahhhh, I wanna see it—_no_! We have to go get Raphtalia first!

_**Then**__ we can see the birds!_

"The birds…" I whispered to myself.

_I wonder how they look…_

I _really_ hope they're like chocobos…because I **waaaaaaaant** one! I'm gonna hug it, love it, pet it, and feed it so many treats!

_Ahhhhh!_

I'm absolutely shaking at the idea. It was difficult to resist the urge I had to clench my hands into tiny fists. I just couldn't stay still…nor keep my attention on whatever the king had to say. Before I even knew it, some red-haired chick was trying to catch my attention by introducing herself to me as the first princess of Melromarc. She latched onto my arm, deliberately pressing her breasts against me.

_Oh, __**this**__ bitch!_

I froze still, not knowing what to do with the sudden physical contact. I wanted to slap her away, but the king was keeping a close eye on me, still looking disgusted with me. I took a quick look around the room, taking note that Ren had four people with him, while Itsuki and Motoyasu both had three people with them. I, on the other hand, had Malty and some rando chick who wasn't even trying to hide that she'd rather be anywhere else but here.

"Amaki, give him one of yours!" Motoyasu, _please_—I want nothing to do with any of these fucking people. The minute I can, I'm ditching everyone to buy Raphtalia and leaving this place.

"Can you please stop doing that?" Myne (or is it Malty? I don't fucking know!), I don't give a shit about you or whatever plans you have in mind, but I'd rather you not try to seduce me in any way, seeing as my asexual ass is not interested you. "Get off—please."

I managed to shake her off, though none-too-gently. For a brief moment, she looked like she wanted to go off on me. Instead, she pouted childishly and playfully swatted my shoulder, telling me to be nicer.

"Meh." I averted my gaze, running my fingers through my messy hair as I sighed loudly in exasperation.

"Naofumi, I'll give you three of my herd if you like," Motoyasu was quick to offer, very much uninterested with the pretty women assigned to him.

Without even missing a beat, I answered, "No thanks."

"Heroes, please stop trying to trade adventurers without their consent." Then stop trying to push people on us without _our_ consent, old man! "Now then, heroes, I have set aside these funds for you."

A money pouch filled with what I could only assume to be coins were place in front of each of us. I immediately grabbed mine and just after the king mentioned just how much was inside, I bolted from the scene. I had no other reason to stick around and I sure as hell wasn't going to deal with Myne (Malty? _Bitch_) any second longer.

It's amazing at how little anyone really cared about my departure, opening the doors for me without any question. I could hear Motoyasu calling out to me, but it seems he was being held behind as only Bitch and that rando girl were trying to follow after me.

"Leave me alone!" I want nothing to do with you. "I work alone!"

And yet, despite my attempts to throw them off, Bitch and her companion were trying their hardest to follow after me. It honestly took me a good half hour to lose sight of them…and that was after going through a bunch of back alleys. I…am now completely lost myself—but I am on my own, at least.

_Progress!_

Now to find that monster trainer guy so I can buy Raphtalia…

…

If only I knew _where_ to find him…

_Good going, genius._

Whatever. It's not like it's going to matter much of how long it'll take…never mind. I just remembered Raphtalia is sick.

_Shit._

Gotta run, gotta run, gotta run—what looks shady, what looks shady?

I swear to god, I'm gonna get mugged if I keep loitering around here— "Are you lost?"

_THERE HE IS!_

The finely-dressed man with a creepy smile bowed at me, trying his best to act as cordial as possible. He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him before he could. I grabbed onto his bowtie, harshly tugging at it as I eagerly asked, "Do you have any child slaves?!"

…

Not the best thing I've ever asked, but that seemed to set the monster trainer off as his smile only widened. He beckoned me to follow him, as he showed me his way into his shop, to where he kept all his slaves for sale.

It…was just as bad as I fucking remembered it being in the manga. I can't even begin to imagine how it must have looked in the anime, but seeing it in real-life is just…

_Resist urge to throw up, resist urge to throw up…!_

Seeing so many creatures locked up in cages like this… It's inhuman, though I guess that's just slavery in a nutshell.

_I'm burning this fucking thing to the ground the instant I can._

I only have six-hundred pieces of silver on me, so the most I can do, for the time-being, is focus on Raphtalia. Now where is she…

"Unfortunately, I am not in possession of many child slaves," the monster trainer began. "There is only one I have at the moment, though…"

The monster trainer trailed off as he pulled off the cloth covering a particular cage. My eyes instantly widened at the sight of a sickly child coughing into her hands. She looked at me with dull eyes, her body trembling in fear.

"She is but a mere demi-human." The monster trainer gestured at the racoon ears and tail the girl possessed. "Racoons aren't as popular as foxes, and this one in particular is diseased and has a mental disorder—"

"I want her," I didn't hesitate to say.

"What?" That caught the monster trainer off-guard.

"Did I fucking stutter?" I crossed my arms over my chest, standing my ground before the monster trainer.

"Well, then…" The monster trainer cleared his throat. "Allow me to help you with your purchase."

The hardest part about this was how terrified Raphtalia was of me, from the way she had to struggle against the monster trainer. Her body was so weak, that the monster trainer didn't pay her struggles any attention. I felt uncomfortable from the way a rabbit-eared man glared at me from one of the cages next to Raphtalia's. He seemed to be around my age and apart from one of his arms being bent in a weird angle, he seemed perfectly fine.

_This is so fucked up…_

I swallowed hard, trying my best to ignore the burning sensation bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I looked away, only to see a lizardman in the cage to the left of Raphtalia's. He was just as mad as the rabbit-eared man. From the way Raphtalia's cage was stuck in between these two, I wonder if she's managed to at least acquaint herself with these two… If that's the case, maybe this is why they're so mad at me.

Being younger than them, and in far worse condition, it wouldn't be that out of the ordinary for Raphtalia to garner empathy from her neighbors.

_I don't remember these two very much…_

But I guess that's what separates fiction from reality, considering that this is real—and I'm buying a slave.

_What am I doing with my life?_

I wanted to save a child, but I only managed to drag myself even deeper into the pit of despair.

_I gotta come back for these two…_

I have to get everyone out of those cages. When—I don't know, but I'm going to do my best to raise up enough money to buy everyone out of here.

_Welcome to your new life, Naofumi._

Guess I'm a mother now, I thought bitterly to myself as I pricked my finger on the dagger the monster trainer handed me so that I could let my blood sink into a special ink dish. I dug my fingernails deep into the palms of my hands as I endured the scene before me of Raphtalia screaming in pain from her slave seal.

"I have been meaning to ask, but that shield on your arm…might you be the Shield Hero?" the monster trainer asked me, just as Raphtalia's screams were starting to die down.

"Yeah…that's me." I'm not exactly proud of that. I'm like the worst person for the job, but my canon counterpart had no fucking say in it, and the same now applies to me. Bile stung the back of my throat as I walked closer to Raphtalia, who was doubled over in pain. "H-Hey…"

Slowly, I knelt down to her level, tentatively reaching out to her with my hand. She shivered, trying her hardest to stay calm as her breathing grew erratic.

"Shhh, shhhh…" I tried to soothe her, gently wrapping my arms around her as I lifted her off the ground. She didn't struggle or anything—she just stayed especially still as I held her close to my chest. It really was only until I whispered into her ear that she finally started responding to me. "It's okay—everything's gonna be okay. I'll keep you safe…"

And I don't know if it was the idea that I was playing cruel trick on her or if she genuinely believed me, but Raphtalia starting wailing after that. Tears dripped down her face as she sobbed, her body continuing to shake so violently from the strain of her own emotions. I gently rocked her body back and forth like one would do to soothe a crying baby.

As she cried, I looked at the message that appeared in my status window. It was message that I had obtained a slave, which…didn't make me feel good—especially with Raphtalia crying her eyes out in my arms. With a free hand, I went through the terms and conditions that followed through and when I found that there was an actual punishment level I could adjust, I immediately set it to the lowest level.

_Fuuuuck __**that**__!_

If I'm gonna punish Raphtalia for anything, it's going to be on my own terms. I know I joked a lot about "la chancla" and stuff with my friends back in my original past life, but honestly? I would never wish that upon my own children, especially on children who have already experienced such horrific abuse.

"It's going to be okay," I continued to whisper in Raphtalia's ear. "Let it out, just…let it out."

After about five minutes, I found myself stroking Raphtalia's hair as she slept peacefully in my arms, with her head resting on my shoulder. I could see the monster trainer wanting to say something, but a harsh glare from me kept him quiet. I don't want to hear anything from him again. I'll do business with him, yes…but that's it. He isn't my friend at all.

_And he never will be._

Acquaintances is already pushing it.

"How much?" I finally asked him, knowing fully well that I went in without knowing about the price I would have to pay.

"That will be thirty-one silver." The monster trainer held his hand out.

I struggled a bit to take out my money pouch. It's difficult when you're carrying a sleeping raccoon girl, but I managed. Slowly, I counted out the coins. It's just as I reached the mentioned amount that the monster trainer received another customer in his shop in the form of a certain blond dumbass.

"Father!" His expression lit up with a rush of positive emotions upon seeing me. "I thought I lost you!"

"Shhh!" I hissed at him, not wanting that himbo to wake up Raphtalia. This is probably the first time she's had such a peaceful sleep.

"Ohh, did you already get Raphtalia?" Motoyasu was genuinely surprised. "So…_this_ is how she looked as a child."

"Raphtalia…" Of course he would know about her…

…

…

"If you hurt her in any way, I won't hesitate to kill you with my bare hands." Not even my nonexistent attack stat will keep you safe, because I've only known Raphtalia for less than an hour, and I am willing to do _whatever_ it takes to make sure she's safe and sound.

"You're certainly a lot more protective." Motoyasu placed his hand on his chin as he continued to observe me. "Where is that crimson pig, anyways?"

"You mean that redheaded bitch?" Whose actual name I can't seem to remember because I honestly don't care. "I ditched her and that other rando. As soon as I get Raphtalia cleaned up, I'm going to grind until I'm at least level 3."

With this shitty attack stat, that'll likely take a few hours…actually, that could take days. Whatever—I'm doing this for me. If Raphtalia doesn't want to fight, then she doesn't have to. I'll fight for the both of us until she figures everything out.

"So what brings you here today?" The monster trainer is always on the lookout for any potential customers, quickly looking over Motoyasu, taking note of the spear he carried in his hand. "Oh my—are you the Spear Hero?"

"I'm the Love Hunter!" There's that damn title again…

"He's the Spear Hero." If it'll get him to shut up, then I'll speak for him. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here for Filo-tan!" Motoyasu proudly proclaimed, earning a hard swat from me as I told him to shut up.

"Huh?" The monster trainer looked questioningly at Motoyasu. "Do you mean a filolial, perhaps?"

"Wait—Filo-tan's a filolial?" So that bird thing…

_Ohhh, I __**want**__ one!_

"I want a filolial!" I shoved my money pouch towards the monster trainer.

"Do you not wish to know how much they cost?" the monster trainer asked.

_Ahh, shit!_

"Ohhh, uhh…" I felt my face heat up from embarrassment. I should probably cool it down with the spending, since I still need to get Raphtalia new clothes and everything…fuck it. I might as well see how much it'll cost anyways, for when I come back for the rabbit-eared man and lizardman.

"For a filolial egg, it is about a 100 pieces of silver," the monster trainer told me.

_That's in my range!_

"Give me an egg now!" It was hard not to talk loud, since I was so fucking excited at the idea of having my own birdy companion. Sure, I'd probably like it if I could find the one my canon counterpart had, but like…what even are the chances this early on?

_Not likely._

"I would like one as well—an aria-type please!" Motoyasu jumped in on the filolial egg buying, waiting just as impatiently as I did for the monster trainer to show up with a mountain of around thirty eggs.

"Ahhhhh!" My eyes widened in awe. I don't know which one to pick…

_I want them all!_

"Which one will have pink feathers?" Motoyasu asked the monster trainer as he looked closely at each and every filolial egg.

"I'm afraid there's no way to know until they hatch." Wait—what colors do they come in?!

_This is just getting better and better!_

They _are_ like chocobos! Oh my god—I can actually ride one!

_I like to ride my chocobo all day~!_

It was getting increasingly hard to stay still, with how hard I was shaking from excitement. I was starting to feel lightheaded from how giddy I was getting. Birds are one of my most favorite animals, with their soft feathers and cute sounds…

_I wonder what kind of noises filolials make…_

It's been at least twenty-years since I last even checked the source material for this world, after all, so excuse me if I've forgotten some of the details I've already seen. My memory's never been the best.

"Hmmm….?" Ohh, looks like Raphtalia woke up.

"You can go back to sleep if you want to," I told her softly. "Nothing's wrong, okay?"

Raphtalia mumbled sleepily before going back to sleep, though not before tucking her head underneath my chin. She pressed herself against my body as much as she physically could, her hands clinging tightly to my hoodie.

I waited a few minutes, watching Motoyasu choose his egg before doing the same myself. For a second time, I pricked my finger again for a seal registration, though in this case, I think it was a different type for the egg I bought. I had to pay thirty pieces of silver extra for an incubator, but that was no skin off my nose. It was still within my budget…although, now that I think about it, it might be a bit difficult to carry the incubator and Raphtalia.

"Hmmm…" I stared at the egg as it rested comfortably within the confines of the incubator that the monster trainer had place it inside of, deliberately ignoring the way Motoyasu rubbed his cheek affectionately against his egg.

_Freaking weirdo…_

"Would you like some help, Father?" Motoyasu suddenly asked me when it finally occurred to him that I would have trouble.

"Meh…" I wanna say no…but I can't.

"I can provide a basket for both eggs—for a price." Monster trainer ain't about to let a business transaction slip by him.

"I'll take it!" Motoyasu all but slammed his money pouch on the counter.

_I feel like I'm going to regret this…_

And I did, because this gave Motoyasu an actual reason to follow me.

_What fun!_

"Haaa…" I exhaled loudly, my attention drifting to the side when I caught sight of Raphtalia's ear twitching.

_How cute!_

"Are you alright, Father?" Motoyasu asked, looking as oblivious as ever towards the distress he was causing me.

_You're not cute._

I mean, that's a god damn lie—but he's certainly not cute in the same way as Raphtalia, so it still applies.

"I don't know where the weapons shop is…" It was through sheer luck that I found the monster trainer in the first place. So now, I'm at a complete loss at where to go next—and I refuse to talk to any of the locals, because they're already giving me strange looks for the demi-human in my arms.

Plus, if I stick around too long, Bitch and her companion might find me and they're the last people I want to see after buying Raphtalia. Knowing Bitch, she might just choose a different crime altogether to pin on me by involving poor Raphtalia.

_And that's not fun._

The life of a Shield Hero sure is difficult when you have no one at your side… I mean, at least I have Raphtalia and Motoyasu is…helpful?

_Ehhh?_

I mean, he's not acting like a complete asshole. And despite how I feel towards him, he's at least trying to help me in some ways. Like how he offered to help me with the filolial egg I bought. Or the fact that he pretty much is the reason why I ended up with Bitch and the rando girl as my assigned adventurers.

Ignoring who it was that I got as help, the fact that I went from having none to two is still an improvement…

_Can I trust him?_

…

…

"Hey, Kitamura." I turned to the Spear Hero, who looked away from the filolial eggs in the basket he was carrying.

"Yes, Father?" He smiled widely at me.

"Do you wanna team up for a bit—like not officially, but at least to move around?" It'll make it easier on me to get through some areas to collect materials. After all, how else is Raphtalia going to get her medicine?

"I'd be honored!" Oh my god, please calm down—don't hug me so suddenly!

"Ahhh!" Motoyasu, you god damn himbo—you woke up Raphtalia!

"Dumbass!" I shrieked.

_Slap!_

This is going to be a _looooong_ day…

…

…

…

* * *

A/N Hey y'all, I'm off too a rather late start for NaNoWriMo, but fuck it—Pokémon Sword and Shield came out, work's been busy, and I am in the middle of suffering in a nuzlocke run I'm streaming because I lost my Galarian Linoone and Farfetch'd last night. So anyways, have another chapter to this time-looping SI fic full of shenanigans!

The original timeline is already in shambles, as is Reprise of the Spear Hero. By the by, in case anyone hasn't figured out, Father is short for Father-in-law. It's pretty funny how you guys were a bit confused about that, but that's part of the reason why this fic is called Mother, May I?, and also! Shout-out to **KadeKuro**, who I commissioned to make this fic's cover! Feel free to send them some love, you can find them at **kadekuro** on tumblr!

Anyways, Motoyasu is kinda all over the place, but like…Reprise of the Spear Hero is a lot more comedic compared to Shield Hero. So while there will be serious moments, do expect it to like go all over the place, depending on the scene.

IN ANY CASE, Raphtalia has been bought and SI!Naofumi is now a mother! Of course, it should be mentioned that like…everyone is under the impression that Naofumi is male, here. If you haven't noticed, everyone's been pretty ambiguous towards how they perceive Naofumi. Motoyasu is probably the more direct about it, but being the way he is…Naofumi doesn't take him too seriously.

Let's get some shout-outs out of the way, cuz you guys have been pretty responsive and just THANK YOU!

Reviewer #10: **Shadowing**

Reviewer #11: **hawa-chan**

Reviewer #20: **Nova Sudana**

Reviewer #22: **SebjectCrimsonStorm**

Honorable mentions: **EndlessSorcerer**, **undefinedforever**, **Kaiya Azure**, **tarious123**, **Qinlongfei** (MORE BIRBS MORE BIRBS MORE BIRBS), **Blu3b3rryT3a** (to clarify, Motoyasu thinks Naofumi is male, because his original Naofumi was male and SI!Naofumi ain't doing herself any favors with her androgyny)

Thank you guys so much for leaving a review! Feel free to continue reviewing, because I crave that validation and it REALLY does help, yeah?

That's about it for now, so until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


	3. Maternal Divergence

Motoyasu watches Naofumi closely, the red imprint from his hand still fresh on his left cheek. The Shield Hero has an almost motherly disposition around Raphtalia, which...isn't that far off from what he remembers.

"_Maybe this is Father's true nature."_ It's hard to tell when Motoyasu knows so little about Naofumi, though most things match up with what he remembers…

At least until Naofumi tries to follow Raphtalia into the fitting room.

"What are you doing, Father?!" Motoyasu is surprised to see Naofumi _this_ interested in Raphtalia, when she still looks so young…

"I'm going to help her change, dumbass." Naofumi's tone is as harsh as ever, his mood still likely sour from the sudden embrace that Motoyasu had given him earlier. "What's it look like to you?"

"It's nothing!" Motoyasu smiles away, deciding that this response is the best one to give to the man that will raise Filo-tan.

Naofumi only scowls at him, muttering a few more insults under his breath as he joins Raphtalia in the fitting room.

It takes Raphtalia less than five minutes to change into her new outfit. It isn't anything impressive, though it's at least decent for what Naofumi has in mind.

"This should keep you safe while we're out of town," Naofumi tells Raphtalia as he gently tightens the light armor she now wears. "Let me know if it feels too tight."

Raphtalia doesn't talk much, but she does nod her head before reaching out to cling onto Naofumi's sleeve.

"You want me to carry you again?" Naofumi smiles warmly at Raphtalia as he hooks his hands under her arms and lifts her up. "You're so light…"

Naofumi stops smiling for a moment, his arms gently tightening around Raphtalia in an embrace. He whispers a few things into her ear that Motoyasu doesn't quite catch. Whatever it is, it makes Raphtalia bury her face into Naofumi's chest. She seems so safe and secure…

"_He really does care for her."_ Motoyasu thinks back on his idiotic actions, where he separated the two, if only briefly. He scowls when he thinks about how that crimson swine had him wrapped around her finger. _"Never again."_

Naofumi goes to pay the weapon shop owner, not even hesitating to pay full price until the owner stops him.

"You should get something for yourself," he tells Naofumi. "Maybe some chainmail? You look like a nice kid, so I'll throw it in for free."

Motoyasu almost swears that he sees Naofumi's green eyes sparkle in awe.

"You mean it?" he asks, waiting for a confirmation. When he gets it, a rare smile forms on his lips. "Thank you."

"You deserve it, for taking in someone so young when you're not that much older yourself." The shop owner laughs.

"I'm twenty…" Naofumi mutters.

"Age means nothing compared to experience." The weapon shop owner reaches out to ruffle Naofumi's hair, earning a warning growl from Raphtalia. "Relax—I don't mean any harm to you or your mom."

There's another growl from Raphtalia, but a light tap to her nose stops her.

"Be nice, Raphtalia—save that behavior for rude strangers." Naofumi gently runs his fingers through Raphtalia's hair in an attempt to calm her. "And Kitamura, if he tries anything funny."

Motoyasu laughs, finding Naofumi's humor a bit too much. "Good one, Father!"

He goes out to pat Naofumi on the shoulder, but a threatening growl from Raphtalia stops him. It's not as threatening of a sound as it would be, had it come from an adult with a deeper voice. Still, it does its job in catching Motoyasu by surprise.

"I suggest you keep your hands to yourself." The shop owner gives him such a stern look.

Meanwhile with Naofumi, he's smiling at Raphtalia as he says, "Good girl."

Maybe Father is still mad at him for waking Raphtalia up…

"_Maybe…"_ It's certainly worth considering.

Raphtalia definitely holds a grudge, from the way she constantly glares at him as they make their way toward the outskirts of town. She shoots down his offer to level her up for Naofumi, which he shoots down as well.

"I'll level up on my own terms," Naofumi tells him. "If it takes me days, then fine! It's better than forcing Raphtalia to fight for me."

Motoyasu furrows his brow. He's never seen Father act so...selfless. Was this the person Father was before that crimson swine betrayed him?

He can't ask Naofumi himself, so he keeps his questions to himself. He keeps most higher-leveled enemies away from Naofumi, who meticulously gathers herbs that are growing in the area. Raphtalia remains safely within sight, playing with a ball that Naofumi had bought her. She stops every once in a while, to catch her breath, coughing loudly each time she does so. Despite this, she continues to play.

She plays and she plays and she plays, until she finally tires herself out. She sleeps next to the basket of filolial eggs, enjoying the warmth that Naofumi's hoodie gives her.

It's late in the afternoon when Naofumi finally returns to their makeshift campsite. He has collected an abundance of medicinal herbs for his shield to absorb. He struggles at first, not knowing how to let his shield absorb the materials. Motoyasu offers to help, but is quickly shut down.

"I can't keep relying on you." Naofumi smirks when he figures it out. "There we go!"

Little by little, Naofumi goes about experimenting with his shield. By the end of the hour, his shield had changed appearance. It was now green in color and appeared to be fashioned out of leaves.

Motoyasu watches as Naofumi begins to combine certain herbs and plants with each other, creating various concoctions. At one point, he stops him from consuming a dubious-looking potion.

"You shouldn't do that to yourself, Father!" Regardless of whatever skills he must have obtained by now, Naofumi is still so vulnerable to try anything risky. Motoyasu pops open the bottle, and downs its contents. It's bitter and strong, but otherwise, harmless…according to his status screen, at least. It doesn't have that much of an effect on him, apart from leaving him feeling somewhat refreshed. "If you need to test out any items, just give them to me, I say!"

Naofumi gives him such an annoyed look before handing him another bottle. "Just tell me what it does so I can reuse the recipe for later if it does anything good."

Eventually, their combined efforts create a medicine with strong healing properties. Naofumi stretches his body out, looking especially pleased with himself for a job well-done.

_Growl._

"Oh, are you hungry?" Naofumi's expression softens as he looks at Raphtalia, whose arms are wrapped tightly around her ball.

Raphtalia blushes and, without saying a word, nods her head.

"Okay, c'mere." Naofumi beckons Raphtalia with his hand. "I need you to take this medicine first. This should help with that nasty cough of yours."

It should likely help Raphtalia eat a lot more easily, considering the difficulty she had keeping down a few spoonfuls of porridge. It had nothing to do with the taste, as Motoyasu himself had a chance to try out a bowl himself. Naofumi had made the porridge from scratch, using the ingredients he had bought while they were still in town.

"_She likely hasn't gotten a good meal in such a long time, that her stomach can't handle anything more than a spoonful."_

It's such a stark contrast to the memory he has of the amount of food he had seen her eat without any difficulty.

Hopefully, that medicine should help ease more food into her stomach. Some of the effects it had on him was diminishing the nausea and uncomfortable fullness he was feeling from consuming so many bitter and rancid medicines. He considers himself lucky that he had full immunity from the negative status effects some of the concoctions had on him. And to think, Naofumi almost tried it on himself…

All those bottles, without anyone else to help...

"_Father is a really busy person." _Motoyasu nods his head silently. Naofumi took very few breaks in between the medicines he crafted. He was so immersed, that he hadn't noticed that Raphtalia had left to collect more materials for him.

Naofumi had scolded her for doing something so risky, but Motoyasu was quick to come to her defense by proudly proclaiming that he scared most of the enemies off.

"Still...don't do something so scary—not without me, okay?" It almost brought a tear to Motoyasu's eye when he watched how softly Naofumi treated Raphtalia, his hand gently tousling her hair.

There's no doubt about it. This is the person that Motoyasu has to protect from that crimson swine, no matter what.

"_For Filo-tan's sake…"_ Motoyasu grabs the basket containing his and Father's precious filolial eggs. He smiles at the mere sight of them, giving the container an affectionate caress.

"Are you going to help me pack up, or do I need to give you a moment alone?" Naofumi stares at him with such a harsh expression. "That better not be my egg you're touching."

"It's not, I say!" Motoyasu made sure to memorize the differences between the two. Naofumi's egg is slightly smaller than his, and the container had a somewhat duller color.

"You do anything funny to Raphtalia's sibling, and I won't hesitate to throttle you." Father is quite the jokester…

Motoyasu and Naofumi make their way back into town as soon as they had gathered up most of their belongings. Naofumi carries Raphtalia in his arms, looking absolutely pleased with himself that he was able to stop her coughing. She looks a lot healthier, too, now that Motoyasu actually thinks about it. Her skin no longer possesses such a sickly look to it, her face looking rather rosy instead of pale. Her eyes are no longer so dull, and instead, sparkle vibrantly in the light.

A visit to the local baths leaves Raphtalia's hair, ears, and tail looking especially fluffy as a pleasant smell wafts off both her and Naofumi.

"You should've said something if you were going to take a bath yourself." Motoyasu was wondering why Naofumi hadn't waited outside with him.

"I don't need to tell you everything." Naofumi scoffs, looking somewhat annoyed. "If you wanted to take a bath, then take one yourself."

"Let's take one together next time, I say!" Motoyasu gives Naofumi a hearty slap on the back. "I'll even wash your back for you."

It's the perfect bonding experience!

"Ha, fat chance!" One that Naofumi quickly shoots down.

"Oh? Are you shy?" Motoyasu wonders if it has something to do with how scrawny Naofumi looks… Or maybe, it was something more _personal_. "Hmmm..."

…

…

"What's with that look?" Naofumi scowls.

"You have my sympathy." Motoyasu gives Naofumi a few reassuring pats on the back.

"For what?" Naofumi furrows his brow as he angrily slaps his hand away. "Don't touch me so casually!"

For the sake of his future with Filo-tan, Motoyasu will keep his thoughts to himself. It's not that difficult to see how much of a sore spot it is for Naofumi, after all…

To make up for it, Motoyasu offers to pay for Naofumi and Raphtalia when they head to the tavern for the rest of the evening. He even covers their meals after Naofumi shuts down his suggestion to share a room.

"Paying for our rooms is one thing, but sharing a room? Hell no." Naofumi is especially blunt, his expression only softening as he gently chides Raphtalia for eating her food so fast.

One of Raphtalia's hand holds a toothpick flag, while the other hovers over the portion of chicken and rice she's been served with her kid's meal. Grains of rice stick to her face as she chews the chicken and rice that she had shoved into her mouth just moments earlier, using only her bare hand. She slows down her chewing as Naofumi wipes her mouth with a napkin.

"Is it that good?" Naofumi asks with a warm smile on his face.

"Good!" Raphtalia repeats with her mouth full.

"Then go a little slower—there's no need to rush, okay?" Naofumi reassures her as he picks up the spoon that she's left untouched. "There's more where that came from if you're still hungry."

Raphtalia eats a lot more slowly after that, thanks to Naofumi's efforts as he feeds her himself. He waits until she's finished chewing and swallowing before bringing another spoonful of food into her mouth.

"You're pretty good at this," Motoyasu remarks.

"I used to work part-time at a daycare when I was in high school," Naofumi explains, his gaze never once looking away from Raphtalia. "Sometimes, I had to feed a few of the toddlers. It's nothing new to me, though it certainly helps that Raphtalia is such a good girl!"

A rosy blush colors Raphtalia's cheeks as she chews her food. The color only deepens when Naofumi pats her head.

"_Makes sense."_ Motoyasu can understand why a daycare would want to let Naofumi work with them.

Raphtalia yawns a lot once she finishes her meal, her head bobbing up and down as she tries her hardest to remain awake. Naofumi is finally eating his meal, which has since gotten cold from how he had neglected it while feeding Raphtalia. Despite this, he doesn't complain.

Sadly, this doesn't last, as Motoyasu and Naofumi are soon discovered by the people they had ditched. Not making this any better, is Ren and Itsuki soon entering the tavern not long after.

"You shouldn't leave your own teammates behind!" Itsuki goes about scolding Naofumi, who just shovels food into his mouth as he tunes out the Bow Hero.

"Are you even that surprised?" Ren asks, likely referring to Naofumi's earlier behavior at the castle.

That crimson swine starts saying something, but all that Motoyasu can hear is oinking coming out of her mouth. Whatever it is that she says, it brings attention to Raphtalia.

"Where _did_ you find this child?" Itsuki asks, looking at Naofumi with suspicion. "You didn't…kidnap her, did you?"

How dare he!

"Father bought her fairly!" Motoyasu is quick to come to Naofumi's defense, though based on how quickly he tells him to shut up, it's not what he wanted.

"You bought her?" Ren looks at Naofumi with disgust. "I didn't think you were like that as well…"

The crimson swine speaks again, oinking at the other pigs that converse with her.

"More of a hero than you, bitch," Naofumi mutters under his breath. He scowls as he slaps away a stray hand that tried to touch Raphtalia. He pulls Raphtalia closer to his chest, his arms wrapping around her in an embrace. "If you even lay a HAND on my daughter, I will not hesitate to _MAIM_ you!"

There's a slight growl to Naofumi's voice as he glares at those who look at him in shock. Even Raphtalia is shocked, though…that doesn't stop her from burying her face into Naofumi's chest, obviously comfortable with his touch.

"If you even cared about her, then you would do something about the conditions I found her in!" Naofumi snaps, still obviously angry with how sickly and filthy Raphtalia was before he had bought her. "I'm leaving…"

Naofumi lifts Raphtalia into his arms and stands up from his seat, deciding not to eat the rest of his meal. He makes his way to his room, roughly shoving anyone that got in his way—of which included both the crimson swine and the other pig that accompanied her. Motoyasu almost calls out to Naofumi, as he had left his egg behind, but Itsuki stops him.

"Weren't you the one who said that teaming up wouldn't work?" Itsuki's voice has an accusatory tone to it.

"And it's the truth, I say!" Motoyasu wasn't lying when he said that.

"Then why are you teaming up with someone like him?" Ren asks, his expression just as critical as ever.

"Because Father asked me to help!" Motoyasu proudly proclaims, his hand patting his chest a few times.

"You're willing to help someone who bought a child slave?" Motoyasu isn't at all surprised to hear something like that coming out of Itsuki's mouth.  
"Don't try to get all high and mighty with me!" Motoyasu scowls at Itsuki. "If you have an issue with what Father has done, then go take it up Trash. This kingdom doesn't have any laws against slavery."

He wasn't about to let Itsuki talk badly about the man who he had watched craft so many medicines for Raphtalia. The poor girl couldn't even keep down a spoonful of porridge without that medicine…

"Father is the reason that Raphtalia looks so happy." It was the same as back then… "If you even try to separate them, I will not hesitate to stop you."

He made that mistake before and, as a result, got slapped by an older Raphtalia. Never again—not when she looks so happy with Father.

"I'm heading off to my room." Motoyasu is getting tired of hearing those pigs oinking around him. He grabs the basket of filolial eggs, deciding to wait until morning to give Naofumi his egg. _"He called it Raphtalia's sibling…"_

If he's lucky, then it might just be Filo-tan's egg… If not…

"_We'll just have to try harder next time."_ Motoyasu nods his head.

* * *

…

…

Raphtalia doesn't remember when she last felt so safe and warm. She snuggles up closer to Mama, her face burying itself into her chest. Her nose sniffs at the pleasant scent coming off of Mama. It's the same scent she has, since the two of them had bathed together.

It's all so new…but good.

"Good…" she murmurs sleepily, letting out a cute yawn that earns her a gentle squeeze from Mama's arms. Her stomach is pleasantly full, her chest doesn't hurt so much, and the night—the night doesn't seem so scary anymore.

Raphtalia likes this. She likes this a lot…

…

But then she smells something different. It smells too…strong. Too…harsh.

"_Bad…" _It makes her want to gag.

Slowly, Raphtalia opens her eyes. There's a dim light that she can barely make out…alongside a figure that looms over her and Mama. Almost at once, her heart starts to race. Her body goes deathly still as she watches a hand pull down the blankets covering her and Mama. Panic wells up in her chest as she tries to pretend that she's still asleep, her breathing soon growing erratic. She almost wants to scream…but then she sees that hand grab onto Mama's clothes, and starts tugging at them without any hesitance…

That's when Raphtalia sees red, anger bubbling strongly within her in ways that almost _stung_. Without any warning whatsoever, she bites down on the hand that dared to touch Mama. She can taste blood in her mouth—but for once, it's not hers.

Her eyes snap open wide when she hears screaming—it's that red-haired woman from earlier. The same one that made Mama angry…

"_What's she doing here?!"_ Raphtalia doesn't know, but that isn't stopping her from keeping Mama safe. She adds more force into her bite, squeezing her eyes shut when she sees that woman raise her other hand in the air. _"She's going to hit me!"_

_Slap!_

But the hit never lands. Instead of slapping Raphtalia, the red-haired woman hits Mama instead. The woman's fingernails cut into her skin, leaving an angry trail of red marks.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Mama pulls her away from the red-haired woman, holding her closely to her chest. "Are you okay?"

"Y-You…!" Raphtalia almost wants to cry when she sees blood dripping down Mama's face. "Y-Youuuu!"

The tears splash down her face, a sob soon leaving her mouth. Raphtalia wasn't hurt, but it still feels like she was.

"That little bitch just bit me!" the red-haired woman screeches, throwing a harsh glare in Raphtalia's direction. "How dare you—!"

"Did you think I was fucking kidding when I said I wouldn't maim you?!" Mama gently pushes Raphtalia aside, her hand reaching out to grab onto the red-haired woman's hair. "You picked the wrong person to mess with, Bitch!"

The red-haired woman struggles against Mama's grip, trying her hardest to pull away. She lets out an especially loud shriek when she finally breaks free, leaving behind a large chunk of her red hair in Mama's hand.

"Y-You…!" Her face contorts into such an unsightly scowl. It reminds Raphtalia of a monster…

Maybe this red-haired woman _is_ a monster—it's likely why Mama isn't hesitating to protect her.

"I lost _everything_ because of your fucking father!" Mama throws aside the chunk of hair in her hand. "If you think that I'm going to let you take away what little I have left of this life I'm trying to salvage, then you are sorely mistaken!"

Mama lunges at the red-haired woman, tackling her roughly onto the floor.

_Thud!_

Mama's fingers tangle themselves roughly into the woman's crimson-colored locks, her hands soon pulling as strongly and painfully as she can. Another shriek erupts from the woman's mouth as she tries swiping at Mama, her sharp fingernails soon catching onto her clothes.

_R-rriii-i-i-ipppp!_

The tears in Mama's clothes expose the chainmail that she wore underneath. Mama grins smugly as she puts her face right in front of that woman's. "Bet you tried to steal this, huh?! Is that what you were trying to do?! Well too bad, Princess!"

It surprises Raphtalia to learn that that woman is a princess. How can someone like _that_ be a princess?

"_Mama's more of a princess than her!"_ Raphtalia puffs up her cheeks, her hands balling up into tiny fists as she watches Mama wrestle with the princess.

It goes well at first…but then that princess manages to flip Mama onto her back. And so the tables are turned, as the princess rakes her nails across Mama's face.

"This is what you get for daring to oppose me!" the princess spats, letting out a pained yelp when Mama's fist collides with her cheek. It's enough of a distraction that leaves her open for Mama to kick her off.

_Thud!_

The princess lands a few feet across from Mama, who finally gets onto her feet. She wipes away the blood covering her face, spitting out afterwards.

"Is that…is that the best you got?" she pants out, obviously exhausted from the struggle.

Raphtalia can see the princess trying something with her hand, but it never gets anywhere as a sharp blade slices through the door. It's the dark-haired young man from earlier, who had made Mama angry.

"What the hell is going on here?!" He scowls at the sight that he sees. "Iwatani, what the fuck?!"

"Thank goodness that you're here!" The princess quickly changes her demeanor, coming off as a crying, helpless mess that crawls up to the young man. "The Shield Hero had that demi-human attack me—look!"

The princess holds up the nasty bite on her hand that Raphtalia had left her.

"That is a fucking lie and you know it, you heinous bitch!" Mama stumbles towards Raphtalia, still dazed from her fight with the princess. "Leave…leave Raphtalia out of this."

"What happened to you?!" The young man ignores the princess as he puts his attention on Mama's physical state.

Seeing a chance, Raphtalia jumps off the bed and rushes over to the young man, tears welling in her eyes as she tells him, "SHE WAS TRYING TO STRIP MAMA!"

She lets out a growl when the princess tries lashing out at her. Thankfully, the young man stops her, having believed her story over the one the princess had fabricated.

"What were you trying to do to Iwatani?!" The young man glares at the princess, who struggles to save face.

It only gets worse for the princess, when the other young man shows up—the one with the brown hair and gold-colored eyes. He almost goes off on Mama, thinking it was her fault, but stops when the dark-haired young man explains the situation.

"I can't believe that you're actually the type to abuse your power." The brown-haired young man gives the princess such a hateful look.

Mama slumps down onto her knees, far too exhausted to do anything else. Seeing her fall, Raphtalia runs to her side, her arms wrapping around the one person who had made her feel like she still had a mother. Mama holds her closely to her chest, trying her hardest to choke back her sobs.

"It's okay, Mama—it's okay," Raphtalia tries to reassure her. "I won't let that princess hurt you."

That's when Mama starts crying… At the same time, that nice weirdo barges into the room, saying something about pigs and oinking. He points at the princess, telling her tricks won't work on him this time.

"Kitamura, you absolute dumbass!" Mama wails out. "This isn't what it looks like…."

"What do you mean, Father?" As usual, that weirdo calls Mama by Father…why? Raphtalia still doesn't know, but at the very least, he isn't that bad of a man. Just…really, really strange.

"Kitamura—take Iwatani out of here!" the brown-haired man tells the nice weirdo. "We'll buy you some time!"

The dark-haired man pushes the nice weirdo towards her and Mama. "Get going—_now_!"

"Knowing her, she'll likely use her power to put the blame all on Iwatani." The brown-haired man glares at the princess, who continues crying her fake tears.

Raphtalia is confused, a growl soon rumbling in the back of her throat when that nice weirdo walks closer to her and Mama. She stops almost at once when Mama pats her head. It feels so nice…

Then, without any warning, the nice weirdo lifts Mama into his arms, carrying her like one would see a knight carry a princess… If a princess was already holding a child in her arms and the knight had a basket full of two eggs, of course. It's so unreal…like Raphtalia is still dreaming of a better life while she was trapped in that cage.

Except, when she pinches herself, she's still awake. It's all too real. She holds tightly onto Mama as that nice weirdo crashes them through a window, leaving the inn. Anxiety starts to well up in her chest again, as she thinks about the things that can go wrong. The things that can just take all of this away from her…

That's when she feels Mama's hand pet her hair. In a calm and soothing voice, that is the exact opposite of the nice weirdo's, she starts to tell a story—the same one she had been trying to tell Raphtalia earlier, before she had fallen asleep.

"Once upon a time, isolated and trapped within her own home, there was a young girl…" Raphtalia listens closely to the story, wanting to hear all of it this time. A part of her pretends that she is that young girl, as she once had been trapped herself. She clings to the fantasy of a glass slipper used to escape a hellish lifestyle, even if only for a few hours.

In the end, the prince takes the girl away from that home, bringing her into a new life where the two of them could live happily ever after…

No longer does Raphtalia feels so anxious. Instead, she's curious, as she asks, "Are we living happily ever after?"

Mama blinks a few times, surprised with her question. That nice weirdo opens his mouth to say something, but Mama shuts him down with, "She asked me, not you."

It's the last thing that Raphtalia expects, but that doesn't keep her from laughing. She considers this her answer of sorts…because she feels happy.

…

…

* * *

Raphtalia falls asleep before Naofumi can give her an answer. There's a moment where he glares at Motoyasu—but for only a moment. He sighs afterwards, his hand bringing Raphtalia closer to his chest.

"You're really good at this." Motoyasu knows that Naofumi used to work at a daycare…but it still surprises him.

"I had a pretty crappy childhood," Naofumi says, his gaze looking ahead as they made their way out of town. "Unlike Raphtalia, there wasn't anyone there to treat me like this. No one to tell me stories… No one to make me feel safe…"

That's right… This was the reason why Naofumi had been living at a love hotel before getting summoned…

"Well…I'll keep you safe!" Motoyasu has long since decided on it. It's what Filo-tan would have wanted, though…Naofumi doesn't seem to be awake anymore. "Huh…"

Must've been tired, considering he had to fight off that crimson swine. Speaking of her, she certainly left a mark on him… As soon as they can, Motoyasu is going to have Naofumi take some of the medicine he had made. Until then, Motoyasu keeps running…

…

They're a lot farther than they were, when they left town to collect materials for Raphtalia's medicine. How far, Motoyasu isn't too sure, but he's certain it's far enough that they're safe…for now.

"_Father needs to level up, soon." _It concerns Motoyasu that Naofumi is still at level 1, especially now that they're on the run. Hopefully, the eggs that they've bought will hatch soon. Speaking of which, he needs to check up on them.

He takes extra care to not wake Naofumi and Raphtalia when he sets them down onto the ground. He pulls off his cloak and uses it to cover the two, keeping them warm for the time being as he goes to collect some wood to make a fire.

Within minutes, he has a fire burning brightly. It's just strong enough to provide them enough warmth to last them the rest of the night. Soon, the sun starts to rise and it's just as Motoyasu is yawning loudly that Naofumi finally stirs from his sleep.

"Morning, Father!" Motoyasu greets him cheerily before throwing a bottle of medicine in his direction.

Naofumi doesn't respond immediately, letting out an annoyed whine when the bottle hits his head. He manages to catch it soon after, looking at it questioningly until Motoyasu tells him to drink it. Without even asking why, Naofumi does as he is told, downing the bottle's contents. Within seconds, the cuts he sustained from that crimson swine are healed, leaving no scars behind.

"Looking better already!" Motoyasu grins, happy to see how nicely Naofumi has healed.

"Mehhh…" Naofumi rubs the sleep out of his eyes, slowly sitting up with Raphtalia still clinging onto him. He stretches his arms out, stopping only when he notices the cloak that's wrapped around him and Raphtalia. "Why…?"

"So that you two wouldn't be cold." It's not that difficult of a reason, though Father still seems confused with his answer. "O-Ohh!"

Motoyasu turns his attention to the basket he holds in his hands. He felt movement coming from one of the incubators…no—both of them? Ahh, it must be luck!

He moves closer to Naofumi, so that he could get a better look at the eggs as they hatched. The first one to hatch was his, which…turns out to be a male filolial chick with black feathers. It chirps a few times, looking left to right before puffing up its feathers.

"Ahhh!" Father looks absolutely elated, from the way he reaches out to stroke the chick's feathers after opening the incubator.

At least one of them is happy…no matter! While it's not Filo-tan, it's still a filolial!

"I'll name him Kuro," Motoyasu says as he brushes his fingers across the chick's neck.

"Not the most original, but it's fitting." Naofumi's gaze focuses on the egg that belongs to him. His eyes sparkle in awe as he watches the chick that pops out. It's…

It's…

"Filo-tan?" Motoyasu's eyes widen as he stares at the peeping chick. Naofumi's chick is mostly white in color, with pink tips. "Already?!"

Motoyasu was certain that it would take longer to hatch Filo-tan…

"So this is Filo-tan!" Naofumi smiles as he releases the chick from its incubator. "Hello—hey!"

Motoyasu wastes no time snatching the tiny filolial chick, wanting to double check if it is indeed Filo-tan. He almost feels like crying tears of joy…then he notices something that is…_off_.

"What's with that face?" Naofumi asks him as soon as he takes back his chick. "Are you okay, little guy?"

The chick peeps a few times, taking instantly to Naofumi while Motoyasu inwardly mourns over his bad luck. The chick is a spitting image of Filo-tan, from the feathers, to even the eyes… The only difference that separated the two from each other was one little physical difference…

"It's male…" Everything except the chick's sex matches what Motoyasu remembers about Filo-tan. Truly, it was a case of mistaken identity… "What are the chances…"

"So it's not Filo-tan, is what you're saying?" Naofumi doesn't look too disappointed, from the way he brings the chick closer to his face. "Hello!"

The chick peeps a few times before rubbing his face against Naofumi's cheek.

"I'm gonna call you Lial—say hello to your little brother!" Naofumi introduces the chick to Raphtalia as she slowly wakes up from her sleep.

"Hhhelllo…?" Raphtalia sleepily says before laughing out loud over how quickly the chick jumps onto her head.

Motoyasu watches the scene before him, slowly lamenting his luck that resulted in a male filolial chick named Lial. He sighs, a small smile soon forming across his lips as Kuro jumps into the palm of his hand. Sure, neither of these eggs hatched into Filo-tan…but there's no use in crying over spilt milk.

"_Maybe next time,"_ he thinks to himself as he strokes Kuro's feathers.

…

…

…

* * *

A/N HEYOOO, Noa back at it again with another chapter! And yeah, shit went in a different direction, thanks to my discord chat. Shout-out to **ChibiFoxAI**, **Benven**, **NeonNavi**, and **Lyrecho**, for helping out with most of this chapter! Also another shout out to **KadeKuro**, because they also had a part in this!

In any case, I deliberately faked out Motoyasu, because I thought it would be funny…and also, I am attached to Lial now. By the by, if it still hasn't sunk in, Motoyasu STILL thinks Naofumi is male.

Not the smartest person around, though no one else, save a certain shop owner and Raphtalia, has actually noticed. Speaking of Raphtalia, you have her to thank, as well as the fact that Naofumi decided to wear her chainmail underneath her clothes (think of how Priestess from _Goblin Slayer_ does it—there we go) for the fact that things have deviated in such a way.

For once, Ren decided to give Naofumi the benefit of the doubt…which is how we got here, and helping that out is Itsuki's self-righteous nature. If anyone is worried about them, they're fine—Bitch will just say that they were tricked by the Shield Hero. Same old, same old…

Anyways, new running gag that started up between me and my own discord chat is just how LONG Motoyasu can go before he finds out Naofumi is female. Place your bets, everyone, because even I'm not sure how long this'll last!

By the by, the first thing that made me worry a LOT about Raphtalia when I first saw her eating all that food was the fact that, considering how poorly she was treated, it was unlikely that she'd be able to stomach it all without having some issues. So here I am, at least doing SOMETHING to ease the fucking concerns I have. Just…let me have this one, okay?!

Okay.

This fic has mostly been Naofumi mothers Raphtalia and gives her the childhood she deserves…oh, and Motoyasu is there, making things awkward from time to time. Yeah.

Moving on, let's get these shout-outs out of the way, because you guys have been pretty kind with giving me the validation I crave!

Reviewer #30: **hawa-chan**

Reviewer #33: **gageelliott**

Reviewer #40: **ItzABlueWulf**

Reviewer #44: **GlaxeySkyGlim**

Reviewer #50: **ponyheart07**

Reviewer #55: **Nova Sudana**

Honorable mentions: **AnimeA55Kicker** (I'm sorry that's not what happened, because Raphtalia played that Reverse Uno card), **Kyunlei**, **Blu3b3rryT3a**, **ACasualPotato**, **Qinlongfei** (expect more wacky situations to come), **Kaiya Azure**, **Zennishi** (who knows, because I sure don't), **Meno Melissa** (WELCOME TO HELL, WELCOME TO HELL), **Silly Thoughts** (your review legit made me laugh so hard)

Thank you guys so much for leaving a review! Keep it up, yeah?

That's about all I have for this chapter, so until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


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